Vegeta plays Five Nights at Freddy's
by Logan Roschevla
Summary: Bulma and Trunks ask Vegeta to play a game in hopes of scaring him, as he always calls them 'trash' or a 'waste of time' so they get pay back. it isn't long but Vegeta playing a game? how is that not gold? One-shot


"Hello I am playing… Five Nights at Freddy's? the fuck is this!? Why am I playing this!" Vegeta looked left and right. Using the mouse, he clicked on a red button "That closes the door, the wench has better dresser draws than those bull shit things!" looking around he pointed his mouse at a cupcake on the side "Can I eat that?" he clicked, not getting anything "Apparently not"

"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night. Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?"

"Who the hell is that?"

"Uh, let's see, first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know. Um, "Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."

"Wait… Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced? This sounds like my kinda fucking job! Unless it's me… thinking about it how the hell can your job not be responsible for your injuries? Well Injury Lawers4you are gonna become real popular after this job"

"Blah blah blah, now that might sound bad, I know, but there's really nothing to worry about. Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too. So, remember, these characters hold a special place in the hearts of children and we need to show them a little respect, right? Okay"

"No! fuck this, robots plus quirky equals bullshit!" Vegeta clicked a grey button, seeing the lights flash "ok?" he clicked a button bringing up a monitor, seeing three robots "I have a chicken, a rabbit and a teddy bear…" he started checking all the cameras "So I'm a security guard and I am watching these animals, heh I might steal these so the woman doesn't bitch at me about Trunks's birthday"

"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"

"FUCK THIS! A robot ate the frontal lobe of the brain? These animals are god damn Zombies! Add them in walking dead!" he glared at the robots. He switched to Pirates Cove not knowing what it meant? He went back to see the duck and bunny were gone "The fuck… where did Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny go" Vegeta ordered checking the camera seeing the duck in the kitchen looking thing and the bunny in a corridor.

"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person. They'll p-most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to...forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit.

"I'm gonna be stuffed in a fluffy suite call the damn police"

"Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area"

"I'm not getting in no iron maid Pyjamas, hell to the no! I'd rather catch Nappa jerk off, something I wish I had never said"

"So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort...and death"

"How can death cause discomfort? It only does if you are in hell" Vegeta kept an eye on the chicken "No way, you are not killin me" "

"Uh, the only parts of you that would likely see the light of day again would be your eyeballs and teeth when they pop out the front of the mask, heh"

"what the utter fuck, even I'm not that sadistic, and I have done enough stuff to make a horror movie scary enough to make a serial killer shit themselves to death…"

"Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up"

"No shit Sherlock"

"But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night"

"OH shit I have… 70% and I'm only an hour in" Vegeta checked all the rooms, a bit nervous as a fox pirate thing was looking through the curtains in Pirates Cove "What the, I wanna know why I'm playing this! I have Whinny the Pooh, Donald Duck and Bugs Bunny, and now I have a Fox? Screw this" he checked to see the duck gone. He pressed the button again, flashing a light in the corridors seeing the duck standing there "AH shit!" Vegeta shouted locking the bird away "Why is this scaring me? It's a game, dammit" he looked at his battery and at the hour "Hour 3, and only 56%... I guess that's ok?" Vegeta opened the door to see it gone "The Duck is out of the oven" Vegeta checked the pirates cove to see the fox gone "Where'd the fox go?" he started to hear footsteps, or the sound of running ring in his headphones "What's thaaAHHHHHHH?!" Vegeta shrieked and fell back on his chair as the Fox jumped on the screen making a freaky ass noise "Holy shit!" Vegeta shouted getting up "I am never playing this again!" Vegeta walked out the room, seeing Bulma and Trunks waiting for him "Fuck the both of you! Im done, im out, screw both of you shitbags to hell!" he yelled as the two started laughing.


End file.
